A Story of Printed Shorts

Most Horrible Photo Number 1

When the (some kind of) editor of a nationally published and well respected magazine contacts you to see if you would like to submit photos for a "street style" piece because they like what they have seen on your blog you automatically say yes, right?  Why wouldn't you, right?  RIGHT?  Did I mention there was a deadline involved?  Did I mention that I currently didn't own the "featured" item?  Did I mention they requested the background be outdoors?

Did they REALLY read my blog?

Horrible Photo number 2

Because I (really, REALLY) wasn't pleased with any of the photos, I have little doubt that they will not be chosen and so I thought I would at least tell the story.  It's funny.  And I wore red, white and blue so its Memorial Weekend themed (albeit a day or two late for that!)

The "feature" item was printed shorts and how different "street style bloggers" wear them.  {I laugh every time I read "street style" because I am so very not street.}  So, I owned about 5 total pairs of shorts and you can bet your bippy that none of them were printed.  I don't look so great in shorts.  I'm vertically challenged and squatty legged, old and dimplish, and frankly out of shape right now so the idea of submitting photos of myself for a PUBLICATION in printed shorts was horrific, but I felt that I should at least give it a shot...just in case I could be considered for something else in the future.  Like how to style Mumus.

I tried on about 15 different multi colored, floral, checkered, aztec, abstract, and stripey options and hated them all.  In desperation I hit up my local Tommy Hilfiger (which happens to be right next to my store) and found these adorable navy polka dot shorts.  They were long enough to cover a lot of the ugly, but short enough not to be bermudas.  The print was small enough not to cause problems and the base dark enough to hide in.  They were on sale as well so they were coming home to be my first ever printed short, and my feature piece.

The next part is boring...I styled them a bunch of different ways at home and took some test photos to see which I liked the best.  My winner was chosen from the test shots and then the search for a background was begun.

I had a couple of spots in mind, but I didn't want to drag my tripod out and run for the self-timer thereby prolonging the possibility of anyone walking or driving by and seeing me taking my own picture.  There is a REASON I take my photos in my bedroom when no one is in the house.  This meant I had to enlist a helper, and I chose my hubby.

Horrible Photo Numero Tres

Hubby has a plethora of fantastic qualities.  He is cute, smart, funny, organized, kind and an all around great guy.  That being said, he is the WORST portrait photographer.  Ever.  I envy all of you bloggers out there whose hubbies are their photographers.  I always imagined it would be so much easier to have someone else behind the lens.  I was wrong.  I ran up and down the hill looking at every shot and going..."can't you zoom in? There's a hundred feet of room around me, I look like an ant."  Or " Do I really look like that?  Was that really the most flattering picture?  Can't you give me some direction, some motivation?  Can't you make me laugh or something?"  It was beyond ridiculous.  On top of the photo critiquing I had to duck and cover when cars drove by, lest they think I was insane for standing in the wash getting my picture taken.  Then there was the swarm of bees in the palo verde he had to stand near.  It was also 105 degrees out and we were sweatin'.

I think I had him take a total of 10 pictures before I was done.  No amount of coaching was going to save this shot, and I was out of time for the deadline.  I picked the best of the worst, did a little bit of color editing, sent that son of a b on its way and washed my hands of the whole thing.

The Submission

The Submission (2)

Take this story as you will; funny anecdote or cautionary tale.  If a photo editor comes knocking on your email for submissions, perhaps you should think a second before you say yes.  Do you have the requested look in your wardrobe already?  Do you have a good photo background?  Do you have a decent photographer in mind?  All excellent questions my friends.  The answers to which may actually lead you to print-worthy results.

XO,
Alyssa

( and to answer the question I know you were asking yourself the answer is no...I didn't own Awesome Navy Tank Top before the deadline, or you can bet that outfit would have been "the one")